Day 87, 88 and 89 in Swaziland

Day 87, 88 and 89 in Swaziland

I came to this ‘holiday house’ again this weekend, starting from Friday and probably will stay here until Tuesday. It’s lees scary now cause I’m more used to what’s around me and the whole environment now. It’s strange this place I don’t get to hear the sound of the birds as much as where i normally live. Put it this sound…it’s so quiet…but not naturally quiet cause I don’t hear the sound of the nature at all. Probably when you developed this whole area for human to live..somehow you destroy the whole nature already not matter how many flowers, trees, or grass you have at your backyard. It’s never the same after all. Sadly.. ! During this holiday, I finally went to a tourist shop and bought some gifts that’s ready for me to take it back to Australia. It was on Saturday, I went Michelle to a Taiwanese grandparent’s house for lunch. There were a lot of taiwanese there, most of them all work under the taiwan government..which means they get pay heaps but doing fuck off. lol. There was a red one on the table, I quickly finish my meal and asked the owner of the house that can i open that bottle. hahah So I had about three people sharing this bottle with me. Im mainly the one pushing people to drink it and doing all the social …omg what’s wrong with these people seriously… hate being the social one.. really tiring. If it’s both way that we are all trying to make this event more interesting and get to know each other, then ok I’m cool with that. But no..those people aren’t even try…they just stay silence if I stop asking questions. Damn..that’s why i never really like taiwanese or asian. Anyways, after the lunch, we drove to a pretty famous tourist shop for me do some shopping. We arrived about 3pm, it took me a hour for just one shop. LOL. I was ready to go to the next shop…but Oops..they closed at 4pm..damn it. The weather was bloody bloody cold. It’s like 10C or even under. I didn’t have anything extra warm to wear, not even my jacket. So I had to quickly jump back into the car and have the heater on. Hopefully I won’t catch a cold. After that, we went back to the mall and to the taiwanese shop where i bought the laptop for Michelle. We went there to ask if we can borrow their internet and pay them by usage or time. But the guy was really friendly and just help us connect his internet (but he wouldn’t give us the passwords.) lol. Anyways, I ended up staying there the whole night to do my work for King Style and we had Chinese there as well for dinner. Im more and more used to this holiday house now since I can have access to the internet. It’s so fast, i got to download three Ted talks within 30 minutes. I was also able to download a movie for about one and half hour. I have been here for 3 months, never experience such joy of the internet speed before. lol.  Anyways, Im looking forward to Monday night hopefully my neighbour will ring me for dinner together. Then Thursday got a very important meeting with South Africa Guests. Saturday will need to catch up with one of the family from Taiwan for a kinda like ‘farewell’ dinner with them. Then that will be the end of the first week of May. Omg, i have this feeling that May is gonna go very fast which is really exciting ~ Sydney ~ Im coming back in 30 days. Woohoooo. But it comes to the scary part as well..gotta start looking and thinking about where I’m gonna go find another job. Fingers cross.

Last night, I watched a really really interesting documentary called, “HUMAN”. At first I was really expecting to fall asleep and not really paying much attention to it. But It didn’t turn out that way at all. It was one of the best and most beautiful cinematic documentary that I have ever seen in my life. The collaboration of nature, human, actives with the angle wide above shooting down and slow motion so we can see every little detail what’s happening, and the scene of we (the viewer) see the interview talking directly into the camera. We don’t see question that’s been ask, we don’t know their name at all. It’s a mystery puzzle that we need to keep putting it all together all the way through the documentary. I was prepared to cry but I just can’t in many scenes. In a way it’s so brutal, it’s so realistic  but at the same time it’s human nature with complex emotions that we make big mistakes that ruined other people’s life. Im here in Africa, I see the big different of rich and poor. Same as how the documentary is showing. It one part of this film, It says there are people don’t have water to drink and having water crisis, but those workers are building massive tower for the super rich that each single apartment have their own swimming pool. It made me feel …omg that’s exactly the same as where I’m at right now. This holiday house area, pretty much every white person has a swimming pool in their house. But going back to where I used to live, people there have no water…living in a very bad condition…so often they get sick because of the living condition. It’s a very hard thing to do, to fix, or to choose side. To live in a middle class house, it’s so comfortable, nice and pretty. But to do that, I put myself into this consumer society that I have to keep purchase to maintenance the place, to earn more money so i can spend…! Then there is the poorer / lower middle class living in a simple ordinary house, money will never run out because there is pretty much nothing else to buy or needed. What shall we choose to be, and where shall we belong…to make this world truely a better place ? To make everyone equal ? Take out the swimming pool, the amount of money that we can save…can feed at least 10 households here in Africa. But no….no one will sacrifice that…because we all used this type of thinking “I work hard, this money belongs to me, I deserve to spend it the way i want it and live in a middle class condition as i wanted”. If people are starving and dreaming for water just next door,,,will they help out..or do they think those people just deserve to die because they don’t work harder..?! They don’t have the chance, the opportunity, or the equality…how can they possible work harder ! After being here for 3 months, I see a little bit of the different aspect of racism. It’s not the same as how the Australia Media is always fighting and shouting about. This racism here in Africa…is much deeper …is much more dangerous… in a way is acceptable for everyone and no one wants to change it. It’s like in the movie, the white will never take away the power of being on top of the middle class and let the black work for them and dreaming one day they can reach to the top as well. If we removed racism and put equality into this system…im sure the white will be the one fighting against it or be the first one running away to somewhere else that they can continuous with their ‘racism system to control the society’. It’s very scary and complicated issue here. What can i do …. at the end of day… probably nothing i can do about it. Do i fight for the black ? or Do i be friend with the whites so i can have a better and more comfortable life here ? Human Nature is very very dark. If only i can be less selfish and given up myself to just even change 5 people’s life to let them have the same chance and equality as what we all have. If we can all do that ,the  world will be in so much better place.

 

 

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Day 85 and 86 in Swaziland

Day 85 and 86 in Swaziland

Tuesday, i wasn’t in the office but i was at the holiday house and doing my work inside the house. It was a little difficult since there is no internet. I had to use my cellphone 3G data and share it with my laptop while doing research. I felt like time goes so fast when you are doing research. It’s like you have only been reading 10 articles and the whole afternoon had past. wow right. Maybe just my reading skill too slow… ! At night, I went to neighbour’s house for a meeting with all the others. Secretly deep down I was ready to PARTY. So I got a bottle of red looks like it’s the best in the shop and bought it with me to the night. Ended up only me and the owner of the house (grandpa) were drinking this bottle. It got a little intense during the meeting cause one of the neighbour won’t easily back down but I do understand where he is coming from. A lot of “politic” in this complex neighbourhood. I don’t really want to involve too much since I don’t actually live there. So I pretty much enjoy the red with the owner of the house (grandpa). Most people really just came for the meeting and they left immediately when the discussion is finished. I think the only went for 45 minutes or less. I think i over stayed my welcome..I ended up staying there and drinking and chatting with the owner of the house and his wife for hours. Until it’s 9pm, I asked, “what time do you guys normally go to bed?” He said, “9pm”. I was like.. oh shit . i really better go back to my place now. It was fun finally have a drinking buddy here in Swaziland, finally someone can finish a bottle of red with me. We were talking about restaurants, foods, locals to go to by gifts for friends. haha. It was very nice. They invited me again so they can cook for me and teach me how to cook pasta without buying pasta sauce. I mean, how exciting is that. But it’s just i don’t know if they are just inviting me to be police and as a social way to interactive; or they really enjoy having me and would like me to come back. O.O. hahah who knows. Anyways, I got back to my place about 9:30pm, I decided to watch the movie ‘The Intern’. Surprisingly I really enjoyed it. I thinking maybe sometimes all these Ted Talks, Documentaries, and Artistic Movies actually bring me down and let me lose hope with humanity and this world. So even this movie, “The Intern” is so typical Hollywood feels good movie. Indeed, it made my heart warm and feels good and brings back a little bit of Hope back to the humanity. Also I really enjoy everyone’s acting in this film, not often to see every characters in the film has its standard and perform the best to the camera. Especially the  kid in the movie, just adorable and so nature the way she talks. One more point that i really enjoy about this film is that, it’s so truth no one else can replace what you created and no one else can put in as much as time as you are. It’s your vision, it’s your dream, no one else can steal it away from you. Nice and I totally agree. What a good night:) Had a good company to drink with me and a good movie to end the night. xoxo

Wednesday, I had to drove 2 hours to go back to our farm for a meeting. With 120km/hr of the speed…after two hours..it really gives headache and dizziness. Very painful. Then I drove back home for lunch after the meeting. From home to office after lunch, (this is where the story gets super scary), I spaced out at one stage during the driving. OMG I totally freaked when i realised I space out and I can’t even remember if that few seconds was my eyes open or close, was i asleep or awake. You know just like in the movie when you are about to die, everything around you all the sudden seems to be slow motion and you can see the cells in the air. Oh well, it didn’t happen exactly like that to me, but I did feel a slow motion and a second feels like 10 seconds. It was lucky there was no car coming from the other side. It was very lucky I didn’t hit a tree, cow, or human being. Anyways, totally freaks me out and i really need to be more careful not to force myself to drive when it’s getting too much and too tired. The afternoon in the office, it’s just meeting and it went for the whole afternoon. I watched Q and A episode 11, it was about the violent, feminist, and education. I enjoyed it as usual, always have unsuspected turn, interesting to observe the panelists either team up or fight against each other or stand in the middle. Defiantly One of my favourite show. OH well that’s it about today really… This week is half way through already…I knew this week is gonna go so fast. Thursday will be in the office, then Friday is another long drive back to the house and meeting a lot of constructors to repair the house. Will be so nice if Baby chub and Bruce is here..well actually only Bruce to be here cause he is the smart one about renovation and redecoration of the house. (Did you see this Baby chub. This sentence is totally written down for you to read.) LOL

Anyways, Thanks for reading everyone.

May is coming and I’m so excited ! Can’t wait to see Sydney again.

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Day 83-84 in Swaziland

Day 83-84 in Swaziland

Movie Review- A Clockwork Orange by Stanley Kubrick

Today, I decided to watch this 1972 film, ‘A Clockwork Orange’, because my baby chub suggested me to watch it and I will enjoy it. Indeed, I really enjoy the film. I have to say the whole film keeps let me refer backs to Wes Anderson (Monorise Kingdom, The Grand Budapest Hotel). The film uses a lot of classical music as way to narrative the mystery of the complexity in human emotion. Also the violence and tragedy all bring along with some kind of dark humour and questionable morality of right or wrong, laugh or not to the viewer/ society. After reading some revived about this film by Roger Ebert and Jeremiah Kipp (On Slant Magazine), I found out Stanley Kubrick also made the film 2001: A space odyssey. I personally enjoy ‘A clockwork orange’ more than ‘2001’. I love how Stanley shows the ‘social complexity’ by using many artistic presentation to narrate human being. The beginning scene, we see ‘Alex’’s wild decoration, aggressive dressing style, fake eyelash and everyone is drinking ‘milk’ ?! We see this mixture of sexuality, gender and identity pretty much in very scene. One way, we can look at Alex as an immature kid that love to be the big boss and fight against the society, As from the beginning we listen to his voice as an narrator, Stanley created this fake impression for the viewer that this voice must be someone that’s important or ‘heroic’ that will become in the end. We (the viewer) have been played from the beginning as ‘Alex’ indeed is not a hero at all. However, we can also look at ‘Alex’ as an representation how we as human being are actually no different than ‘Alex’. We never stop searching for our identity and sexuality, and who we are an what we value in this society. Are we playing the society or are we actually being play by ?. Stanley gives us the impression that Alex was never been ‘cure’ by the hospital and he was fooling everyone just to get out of the jail. At the end, he might think he won, but the question is, ‘did he really ?’. Did anyone really care about he is cure or not ? In fact, everyone is just using him to get what they want either personally or politically.  This question can be throw back and forth; almost like the question of egg comes first or chicken. It’s so realistic and we have no answer for it, neither ethical or unethical way to describe it. Another reason that this film keeps point out identity and sexuality is the ‘gayness’ and ‘erotic images’. The gayness such as ‘Alex’ lawyer was first at his house and asking him to sit next to him while ’Alex’ was only wearing a underwear. Later on they were both lying on the bed and the lawyer grabbed ‘Alex’s genital. The art painting when alex came down from his house, the painting of many male’s nudity and genital being drown on the painting. The scene where the wheelchair man saw ‘Alex’ came in from the rain and wounded, his ‘kind offered’ for ‘Alex’ to shower but deep on it’s his lustiness  and perving on ‘Alex’. The prisoner seduced ‘Alex’ during the ceremony. The strange relationship between the ‘Alex’ and the Priest. All these ‘hints’ by the Stanley, trying to tell us that not only ‘Alex’ is lost in the society, but everyone that around him are also ‘lost and searching for identity and sexuality’. All these are the ‘male’ parts of searching. When it comes to female, we see that in the movie such as female eating an almost like penius shape of ice cream, and the decoration of nudity images and penius ‘art decoration’ inside the woman’s house whom was killed by ‘Alex’. We can see the vulnerability of female that’s represented in this film. But again in ‘Alex’ point of view, for him female is nothing but an sexy object. Again with the issue from the society, how do we really look at female ?

Anyhow, i really enjoyed it and it brings out a lot of issues and tension about the society and human being. Worth watching and worth it to dig deeper and discuss it. I give, 4/5 Stars.

Now my life of last two days of public holiday (Sunday and Monday). I literally didn’t do much on Sunday other than try to finish my report for one of the job and lots of market research and emailing back and forth with clients. on Monday, it’s a little bit more interesting. I drove for almost 2 hours to this fancy British style house that’s bough by the company. I decided I’m gonna stay here for two nights even there is no furniture, no internet, no fridge, ..ok..really nothing in the house other than electricity. After i arrived, I found out 60% of the light in the house is not working which is very strange cause it was working last week when i came for inspection. Anyways..this gives me a creppy feeling cause it’s going to be so bloody dark at night. In the afternoon, I got ready and jump into the pool…OMG it’s freaking Cooooool. But i checked the water temperature..it’s 23C in the water…how comes it feels like 15C. Then I saw a shadowy thing at the suction area of the pool. I went there and open the cover. OMG there is a FROG !! But this time it’s alive which i found it very strange. Aren’t they suppose to be dead because of the chlorine ? Feeling really scared after this about if the water is really clean or not. So i decided to just walk around the pool and paddling my legs in the pool as an exercise. lol.

Because of it’s public holiday here this Monday, I had to four different shops to finally able to get a bottle of red to get me through the night. Am i becoming an alcoholic ? I don’t think i am…it’s just really I’m scared to face this loneness and isolation without alcohol. Somehow I’m really afraid of being sober at night. Drinking makes the night go faster, drinking makes the week go faster. OMG I totally sound like a hopeless alcoholic , don’t I. lol. At night, i had to drive 3 minutes to a shopping mall to buy KFC for dinner. On my way back, it’s about 6:45pm, the road was so dark that’s almost darker than where I live. When i parked the car next to the house, the whole area just get even creepier. Just imagine yourself in the black forest and all dark, in front of you there is a ‘British style looking house’….how can this not be ‘creepy’. lol

Where i stay, at least every apartment or house is very close to each other and there is a security guard over night. Where I am, everyone is about 10minutes walking distance and no individual security guard for each house. In the morning , this is heaven. At night, this is a blackhole in the universe that almost anything can happen.

I have a feeling that this week is gonna go very fast. Then it’s MAY !! OMG right !! After this week, then I will get another song from Greyson Chance and a new album from Rob Zombie. lol with those two, it’s gonna let May be really awesome and go really fast. Can’t wait to see Sydney again. can’t wait to see my next chapter of life for this year. xoxo

Day 82 in Swaziland-31

Day 80-82 in Swaziland

Day 80-82 in Swaziland

Not much has been happening here. It’s the long holiday here in Swaziland. So we are having four and half days of holiday. I have been counting down this holiday for the whole month, don’t know why but just really want to stop the every week’s routine and do something different and rest as well. March and April all have 4 days of holiday..hehe I think it’s the best time to come work in Swaziland ..but it’s also the hottest time of the year. Anyways, my holiday is pretty much just staying home with my music and continue working for king style. gotta start plan all the marketing strategy for the next 6 months and also i need to start think where i will be applying my third job in sydney as well. Sometime, I’m trying not to be too greedy about how much i earn…but at the end of day..it’s always impossible to survive with such low wage. Sign… why can’t we make it all equal payment, fair wage and fair price on the market. One more week, then it’s the beginning of May, which is my last month in Swaziland. Time goes so fast that 4 months is almost about to end. I really thought i won’t miss Sydney that much, but indeed I do miss it badly.

One month is gonna go really fast, Im starting to assign my works to other people in the team. So pretty much just monitoring them and hopefully they quickly pick it up what i have been doing.

On Saturday Morning, I went to the farm to check if everything is on schedule and what has been completed. After that, i decided to drive further down and get as close as possible to the hill behind our farm. It was a pretty cool experience. I didn’t know where i was going at all, but i just look at the hill in front of me and kept driving to get closer and closer. I stop at so many different locations just to get the different angles of the hill. I felt safe cause this whole property is belong to this company and since it’s a long holiday , it’s pretty much no one around at all. So I can pretty much do whatever i want and stop any where i want without worry or scared if anyone is looking at me. lol. On the way back..of course I got lost..I ended up on the other end of the property which I also never been before. But that where the fun is, I was driving alone with the fence. All the sudden, I saw a mummy boar with four small boars. They were all on the other side of the fence. They look at my car and stop moving. I quickly stop my car and thinking should I take a photo..should I get out the car to take a photo.. is it safe ? In few seconds, the mummy boar started to run away from me..of course the babies boars followed the mummy. Then I drove for another few seconds, then they were so many kudu (lesser kudu baby) underneath the trees. OMG they are so pretty because of the unique white stripes on their body. SO COOL !! I just kept watching their movement and wanted to get out of the car to take a photo so badly. But i think ti’s a big dangerous also they are all on the other side of the fence..i probably won’t get many good photos. I drove very slow on the road, then i spot another group of wild animal, “Helmeted guineafowl “. They are the only one didn’t run away from me and i got to spy on them for long time. This is so cool, the first time i actually got to see the wild animals in Africa other than just the pigs, cows, and goats. I think that’s going to be my favourite spot now, gonna try to find a time to go again and see if I can spot those wild animals again. Next time, i will come prepare!! lol.

Below are the photos of those animals i mentioned in the blog. I didn’t take any of them. It’s all from Google.

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Day 79 in Swaziland

Day 79 in Swaziland

Today didn’t start as i wanted to..I was hoping i can be on time and not to rush from one location to another. But somehow i failed to wake up one time…not only just failed..I over slept the entire hour…WHAT. i know ri…terrible Manger..lol. Anyways, i finally got to visit the fancy British style house this time. I was all excited and really want to move it in during the long holiday. But the agent told me there is no internet and the internet connection is pretty bad. Damn it…Hopefully I can get the internet to re-connect tomorrow so i can spend a few days there over the weekend. Even if I have to stay on the floor, even there is no tv…It’s still pretty awesome if i can get away where i am and get a fresh start after I’m back from this ‘small holiday vacation’ lol. This afternoon was suppose to have a very important meeting with one of the prince, to see if there is another potential we can cooperate to expand another 50 Ha. However…that didn’t happen….he rang for two hours before the meeting to say that the meeting is cancel and we need to rearrange. OMG…… what a disappointment. Luckily I didn’t waste my morning, I worked for hours in the car for King Style…made a crazy excel file for the market price evolution . So proud of myself lol. So finally the work for King Style is finally catching up, i’m able to manage everything on my schedule. However, which means that the work in Africa is a little behind…as i have been so focus on king style lately…I kinda get let the work here slowly moving and waiting to complete the plantation. Well….at the end there isn’t really much to do other than market research, land expansion, machine testing…. zZzZzZ. lol. I told Michelle today that Im really feeling suffocated of living with her and seeing her 24 hours for months. Another massive and pointless argument and conversation…i told her this time..im really sick of this and it’s going to nowhere. So instead keep yelling back and forth..this time i choose to stay silent and never say a word with any argument that’s been bought up before already. Same thing over and over again… who can keep doing it like this ? Only with a total no brainer… ! Tonight I didn’t watch any movie, just didn’t feel like it after all the conversation. Also I feel like just slowly writing my blog today and do some recording, etc, just to relax and have plenty of time at night just wondering and thinking instead of movie. I spend about 3 hours making music and recording. wohoooo. feeling very creative tonight hehe.

 
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Day 78 in Swaziland

Day 78 in Swaziland

Tonight, I finally watched the film, 45 years. I love it so much. My brain just keep thinking and trying to put pieces together with meaning and representation. It’s truely an epic film. It doesn’t have a fancy budget to create amazing angle and scenery. But the simplicity of the landscape, the motion of wind blowing, and angle of the street scene always captured in a very observing way like you as the viewer is spying on the actress/actor. The film played with viewer’s emotion as the film starts in a very romantic way but as day goes by, the tension got tighter and the angle became more titled and almost make you feel the actress is an outsider same as you the viewer whom is watching this film. We as the viewer never get to really see the actor’s emotion and true identity. Same as his ex-wife (girlfriend) whom die when he was 27, we never get to see a clear face of her. Even the camera angle is playing a trick of hiding game with a viewer as doesn’t want to let us know the truth even when the actress found out about it. Not only the whole film is perfectly filmed with many irony and representation, but the story line also so realistic to present the human’s weakness. Who are we hiding from, Who are we pretending to be; so we can ‘pretend’ to keep the person next to us just because we are scare of being alone ? This selfish thought but the true human being for the self-need of surviving skill. What are we hiding from ? What are we holding for ? The past, the future, or the present ? Do human often self-hypnosis itself just to keep the sense of ‘alive’ , the sense of belonging, and the feeling of valued ? The lover from the past, why do we keep on holding on ? Do we regret, are we afraid, or are we simply want to hurt the person that has been together with you for the next 45 years ? It’s selfish but it’s a love story according to ‘Hollywood”. Can human improves and upgrade if we let go of the past’s pain, joy and love ? Can we simply take on the lesson from the past to make adjustment and bring one a even better future, a better love story ? a better joyful life ? At the end of the movie, we see the fear inside of her; the fear of seeing her husband wearing a mask just to make her happy, the fear of not knowing the truth, the fear of self-doubt. The end of the dance, she quickly let go of her hands with panic. It leaves the viewer with millions of questions and possibilities. Is she going to pretend to be happy ? Is she going to kill him ? Is she gonna talk to him and ask him for the truth ? Again, back to the circle of life’s question and various possibilities. It’s also very interesting to make the character that has been together for 45 years, which gives more reasons to explain their togetherness is because of the fear of being alone. (At least that’s how i look at it). When human starts to fear, we stuck inside the circle forever, we forgot what’s happiness, we forgot what’s the meaning of future, we forgot what’s outside the circle. Indeed, we never stop looking back to the past and keeping asking ourself ‘what if’. When do we move forward ? When do we involve ? It’s when we stop asking “what if” and we stop looking back the past.

Damn, 45 years, what a great movie !!

thx for reading:) and sorry for the bad grammar cause was written in a very short time..heheh.

xoxo

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